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Dear Meghan, I guessed ages ago…

Dear Meghan,

Now, who would a gal ask to make her wedding dress, if she were about to marry a prince? I’m going to put my neck on the line and take a wild guess. OK, so, not the super-stylish Giles Deacon, who makes swoon-worthy couture. Although the perfect candidate, he made Pippa Middleton’s dress, so I doubt he’s in the running. Not McQueen, ’cos we all know the McQueen story – I mean, it would be ace, but a bit much to appoint the same designer as the new sis-in-law. I don’t think it’s Emilia Wickstead, Burberry or M&S (although the latter would be absolutely genius). Stella… I’d love it, but I think not. Jenny Packham? Again, fabulous, but I’m thinking too sis-in-law…

A maison, btw, ain’t just any old shop – you can’t walk in off the street and start trying on devastatingly beautiful gowns post picking up a Pret a Manger cheese sarnie

After many hours’ scratching my chinny-chin-chin, I’ve whittled it down to two contenders: I think it’s either Ralph & Russo or the fairy godmother. We’ll get on to the fairy godmother later; as for Ralph & Russo, I know hardly anything about them, if I’m honest. Founded in 2007 by creative director Tamara Ralph and CEO Michael Russo, according to Wikipedia Tamara Ralph was ‘the first female creative director from the UK in nearly 100 years deemed eligible to show during Paris Haute Couture week’. There are two Ralph & Russo ‘maisons’: one in London and one in Paris. A maison, btw, ain’t just any old shop – you can’t walk in off the street and start trying on devastatingly beautiful gowns post picking up a Pret a Manger cheese sarnie. Non. Non. Non. A maison is an appointment-only situation. *Cancels Uber*

You can, however, head to Harrods, where you’ll find the world of Ralph & Russo in all its resplendent ready-to-wear glory. Beautiful in a way that normal clothes can’t compete (as you know, Meghan), the collection is decidedly more demi-couture than straightforward off-the-peg. Buttons glisten, jewels twinkle, shoulders are cut in a way that’s precision-perfect, dresses fit snug and sexy, and a smart tailored jacket is designed to be worn with either a cocktail gown or favourite pair of jeans. (Thinking about it, I’m not sure the Fairy Godmother could compete *scratches Fairy Godmother off list). Forever pieces – which they should be, considering off-the-peg prices start upwards of £3,000 – we all know you love a bit of Ralph & Russo action! 

I hear they take at least six months to make? Meghan, is this true?

If Ralph & Russo’s ready-to-wear is for the busy, the wealthy, the successful, their modern way of doing couture is for women with a big budget (upwards of £20K), who don’t wish to wait six months for a dress, thanks to endless fittings. So, bearing that lot in mind, can you imagine what a Ralph & Russo wedding dress might look like? I hear they take at least six months to make? Meghan, is this true?

I’ll be watching from Barcelona, glass in hand, waiting with baited breath

Traditionally, a wedding dress is the finale dress at a couture show and being last dress out before the designer takes their bow is a BIG fecking deal. The most worked-on piece, it takes dozens of ateliers endless weeks to make. Frills, chiffon, silks, crystals, feathers, all hand-stitched, it’s a magical scene. And it’s this magic I can see you wearing next week, dear Meghan. I’ll be watching from Barcelona, glass in hand, waiting with baited breath. I’ll also have my Panama with me, should I need to eat my hat. 

WE LOVE YOU, MEGS!!!!

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