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This Leopard just changed its spots

Dear Reader,

I love leopard print coats. But I also hate them. They never suit me. I always feel totally OTT in them and I although this is a terrible cliché, when I pull on a leopard print coat, all I see in the mirror is Pat Butcher. Just add dangly earrings and go, eh? No. Actually. Don’t.

…when I tried to copy Emmanuel Alt by wearing thigh-boots over jeans. I had to be cut out of them at 2am

Everywhere I look, all I see is women looking shit hot in leopard print coats and jeans. So, if everyone else has this leopard coat thing nailed, why can’t I? Well, one of the many leopard-print-coat-related-things I’ve learned, is not to go too-short. As far as I’m concerned, a leopard coat should cover ye old bum, and, because I do not work at French Vogue, I should probably avoid wearing a short leopard print coat with thigh high boots over the top of black skinny jeans. However much I want to be, I am just not that woman. I learned the hard way three years ago, when I tried to copy Emmanuel Alt by wearing thigh-boots over jeans. I had to be cut out of them at 2am.

I digress. I know I need a leopard coat that’s longer in length, not too fitted, and closes over the boobs. I feel I look better in coats without lapels, but saying that, the Zara coat pictured above is a total dream. Could this, my 48th attempt at buying a leopard print coat, finally be the year I actually wear one more than once before donating it to the local charity shop? I have my eye on the J Crew number, am thinking I could wear it with rolled up black jeans, a red jumper and some black point-toe shoes. (Or, as shown above, with long boots and a dress?) I regret ever slipping into the Max Mara coat in the edit below. At a shoot last month, I grabbed it off the rail and declared it “PERFECT”. Except, err, but it costs £2k? *calls mortgage advisor*.

So, one more try for luck, hey? Wish me luck.

The nicest leopard coat edit...